Saturday, February 28, 2015

Personal Post: Left Behind

It can be really easy to feel sorry for yourself sometimes. When all you can see of the road you're on is where you're standing now. I'm reminded,  in times like this, of the scene in Disney's Alice in Wonderland, where Alice finds a bright red path leading "home." She happily hurries to follow every twist and turn. Until she sees what looks like a dog, with a brush for a nose and a brush for a tail. She's stopped in her tracks because the dog like creature is brushing away the path! All the came before and all that comes after has been swept away, and all she can do is cry.

I feel like that right now. Like crying. Like sitting down on a rock in the middle of an audience of strangers and begging anyone to show me the way. What Alice lacked in that moment was hope, and it is hope I am finding difficult to hold on to right now. I know God has a plan, and I know that it is a perfect plan that I am a part of. But it sure doesn't feel like that when you can't see the path ahead of you. When all you can see is your life continuing the way it is now. And that sucks.

I love my family. I love my job. My freedom. But I feel like the kid who never grew up. The one no one takes seriously. The one who has no idea what it's like to be on her own. I've been left behind...

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